Home for Christmas
by Jackiwi
Summary: Sam remembers someone she loved and lost. I'm no good at these, just read it and you'll see what I mean!
1. Default Chapter

Author: Jackiwi Title: Home for Christmas Disclaimer: They aren't mine! MGM, double secret and Gekko own 'em. Rating: PG Pairing: Jack/ Sam Spoilers: None Summery: Lots of angst and what not. Authors note: Just sat down and started writing. This is the result, hope you like it! Feedback is always welcome.  
  
Home for Christmas  
  
Bare feet pad delicately on tip toes along the cold stone-tiled floor. A lateness of the hour is given away by the desertion of the lower levels of the house, the darkness beyond the windows and the soft sound of clocks ticking, the radiators refilling and readying themselves for another cold winter's day.  
  
Standing at the sink in the kitchen, she fills the kettle as quickly and as quietly as possible, so as not to wake Cassie, who stays with her sometimes when Janet is out of town. Turning off the jet of icy cold water, she replaces the lid and takes it over to the worktop, plugging it in with a small 'click'.  
  
With nothing better to do in the four minutes the kettle takes to heat the water to 100oC, she goes to the coat stand and pulls out his biggest and warmest coat. A black puffer jacket which he often wore on his fishing trips, once the climate turned hostile. Wrapping it around her, she heads for the back door, opening it and pulling it aside.  
  
The night air is full but still. The cries of owls and their unwilling victims rings through the frosty darkness and the moon, only a crescent, sits high up, resting on a solitary bed of clouds. A million sparkles glitter in the sky, each trying to outshine its neighbour, and tiny red and white lights move busily across the sky, each following its own path.  
  
A chill catches her as she steps out onto the decking, and she moves swiftly as her feet hit the frozen wood panels. Making it to the bench she settles down and pulls the coat tighter around her, tucking her feet up underneath her legs to keep them warm.  
  
Sadness swells her heart. She always misses him on nights like this. Nights when they would go up to his roof and watch the stars as they fell from the sky. She won't cry anymore, she has cried enough. Now the tears are internal and the pain still so fresh, is constant and beyond her understanding.  
  
She has this dream sometimes; she sits watching the tiny pinholes of light, and as one tumbles she makes a wish, a wish he was here with her, now. The star disappears and she closes her eyes, knowing that wishes only come true in fairytales. But then she feels his breath on the back of her neck, his deep voice whispering in her ear and his soft, warm, beaten hands enclosing on her own. But when she turns to look at him, he vanishes, leaving wisps of fine sliver mist behind him. The dream always wakes her, and over the first few weeks, when she forgot he was gone, she would get up and search the house. Call his name, but the only response she ever got was silence.  
  
Six months have gone by since he was pronounced 'missing in action, presumed dead'. 84 days since that day, June 21st. she fell apart that day, and try as they might, no one has been able to put her back together. It was by pure chance that Teal'C walked in on her, the small hand gun she kept in her nightstand resting in her shaking hands. She had being playing with its cold black metal barrel for hours, unloading it and reloading it. She didn't want this life without him and if one tiny little golden bullet could make the pain go away then she would hold it to her head and pull the trigger.  
  
But Teal'C stopped her, he talked her round. Convinced her that until they knew for sure he was dead; she had something to live for. She still has his stuff in her house; his toothbrush in the bathroom, his aftershave on her dresser. She can't let go of him. Because there's a feeling hidden somewhere inside that tells her not too, though she can't explain it.  
  
Lost in her thoughts, the smell of coffee drifting on the air steals her attention. She didn't make the coffee yet, so why was the smell coming from her home? Maybe Daniel came over, saw the lights on and let himself in? She picks herself up and runs across the cold deck until she reaches the warmth of the carpet covered floor in the lounge. Closing the door and locking it, she moves through the house to the kitchen silently. Surly no intruder would be making coffee, but you can never be sure. At the doorway she stops dead in her tracks. A man with his back to her is busy adding milk to the hot drinks. Turning around, his eyes lock on hers.  
  
Adrenaline races through her veins as her heart pumps so fast she can barely breathe. Her throat tightens and her eyes sting with the tears she was sure had run dry. A moment of hope, of sudden joy gives way to rational thinking and she kicks herself for believing this elusion.  
  
"No, it can't be. It's just a dream, it must be?" she tells herself out loud, waiting for the moment when the man standing before, the man with dusty grey hair, deep brown eyes and scars that had to remain unexplained to most, the moment when he would vanish from her sight. The clock on the wall becomes as loud as thunder as every second ticks past. He does not move, just looks at her. She blinks, and still he stands there, the opening and closing of her eyes had not carried him away.  
  
Inching closer, she looks at him, really looks. Everything about him is real; she even thinks she can smell him. No dream had been like this, not one had lasted this long. Daring to believe, she reaches out a shaking hand and lays it on his chest.  
  
Solid. Her hand didn't pass through him like a ghost, he is solid, and not only that but she can feel his heart beating under her touch. A steady strong heartbeat. If this was some kind of dream then she never wants to wake up. She takes hold of his black t-shirt and holds on with all her might as she draws so close to him now she can feel his breath. He is not leaving her now.  
  
"Jack?" she whispers and the thick emotion filled sound of her voice takes her by surprise.  
  
The man nodded and smiled softly.  
  
"Merry Christmas Sam."  
  
His voice! Exactly as she remembered it, thick and deep. Suddenly her knees give way and she falls in a heap on the floor, pulling him down with her. She can't keep it in any longer and tears fall like rain on to her face. He holds her tightly, her face in his hands as he looks her in the eye.  
  
"I'm home, baby. And I'm never leaving again, I promise." He whispers as he kisses her hair.  
  
She didn't know where he'd been, or how he'd got back, but she didn't care. All she cared about was that he was back now, home, where he belonged. And this time it was for good.  
  
THE END 


	2. Snow

Author: Jackiwi Disclaimer: Original characters and story is mine, everything else is MGM, Double secret's and Gekko's property. Rating: PG13 Pairing: Jack and Sam Sequel to: Home for Christmas Notes: I was asked to write a story to tell you where Jack went, so here it is. Inspiration hit me yesterday, at work in a woodland park. Hope you like it, and hope you can understand it, as I am British and have used a few British phrases. Merry Christmas for next month! Feedback would be loved!  
  
Snow  
  
Tall proud trees, nothing more than bones after the winter's harsh attack, wave bear branches high in the gentle wind. Their leafy-flesh that provided the red gold carpet children wrapped from head to toe in the woollen mittens, scarf's and hats that grandma knit played and sung happily on, long gone, replace by a thick white blanket of crisp snow.  
  
Hand in hand they walk through the park, decorated with Christmas trees and fairy lights and several snowmen with carrot noses and black button noses. In the dusk light of winter children finish snowball fights before taking their chilled body's home too mum for a hot chocolate and stiff telling off for walking in snow and socking the carpet!  
  
Jack's hand grips mine a little tighter, and I can't help but see the little smile on his face as he's inner child surfaces.  
  
"Don't even think about it O'Neill!"  
  
"You know me too well, Carter." He's disappointed tone replies.  
  
I feel a sort of pride at his comment. I do know him well. He still hasn't told me what happened to him all that time he was away though. Its like that whole part of his life just vanished. It's been five days since he's been back, and he hasn't broached the subject. I guess he'll talk when he's ready. But I can do nothing but wonder. He doesn't seem any different, accept maybe a little older, maybe one or two scars that weren't there the last time I saw him. Looking at him I realise neither of us has said anything in a while.  
  
"Penny for 'erm?"  
  
"Hmm?" he looks up from he's ever so interesting feet that he's been staring at for sometime.  
  
"What are you thinking about, Jack?" My face must be showing the worry I have in my heart, coz he smiles and wraps an arm around me.  
  
"That's a big question."  
  
"Not really. Are you going to answer it?"  
  
"I was thinking about.you, actually. How much I love you." He rests he's forehead on my temple, kissing my check lightly. I don't buy it. It's nice for him to say that, but he was lost. Those thoughts had to be deeper.  
  
"Jack!" I prod.  
  
"You don't give up do you?"  
  
"If you don't want to talk about it, that's ok, but give me a little bit of credit; I know when you've got something on your mind. And I have a feeling it has something to do with where you have been for the last six months."  
  
He lets out a long sigh; he's breath creating a swirling cloud of steam as it mingles with the bitter cold air. He spots a bench and pulls me towards it. Sitting on the chilly wood, a tree with a star on the top and hundreds of multicoloured sparkles twinkle in the fading light.  
  
"Sam.I. I don't know where to start. Where I went, they messed me up pretty bad. That last planet we went too, it had underground mines. They gave me this shot and it paralysed me. I was taken down to this guy named Lexa. He tortured me for info, much the same way Baal did, knives, acids, you know the drill." I close my eyes and try with all my might not to picture the scene, I don't want to see the pain on his face when the acid burns his skin, its searing sting forcing a strong man to almost cry. "He had a sarcophagus too. They revived me and revived me until I had forgotten who I was, everything but for one thing, a face. Your face. I kept seeing your face, smiling." He voice shakes slightly and I gently rub his arm. I can't even imagine what it's like to go into one of those things, I don't want to.  
  
"Anyway, when I didn't even know who I was anymore, there was no way I knew what he wanted to get out of me, so he gave up. Put me to work in the mines."  
  
"God, I should have."  
  
"Ut!" He places a gloved finger on my lips, "You did everything you could; I don't even have to ask to know that. The mines were deep underground, hidden in thick walls. There's no way you could have found them if you didn't know they were there."  
  
I nod, not totally reassured, but willing to go along with it. "But how did you get out of there?" I ask with a slight shiver in my voice as a cold breeze hits me, the sun now well sunk and the night rolling in fast, leaving the park all but empty. He pulls me into his chest and wraps he's large coat around us both.  
  
"I meet this man, Kene, in the mines. One day we got to talking about how we had visions of these people we thought we knew. One day I remembered how I'd gotten in there and we decided that we would use the same rout to get out. We waited till 'night' and made our escape. It was risky, but we fought our way out and made a run for it. Once we were out, his memories came back almost all at once. He took me to his house, where he had a wife and two children. I stayed there and helped out as much as I could until one day I saw a glider fly over head and remember the Stargate. Everything came back after that, and I knew I had to come home."  
  
"How did you get the iris open, we had to change the codes?"  
  
"I figured as much. I used stones."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I threw stones into the event horizon and hoped to god it would work. I threw three small, three big and three small. I did it four times just to make sure. I hoped it would create a pattern on the computer that you would recognise, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dash, dot, dot, dot. S.O.S. It turned out Danny saw it and got Hammond to open the iris. I must remember to thank him for that!"  
  
I laugh a little. "That's quite a story! Promise me you'll never do it again!"  
  
"Oh believe me; the knees aren't up to it!"  
  
"Good. New Year's resolution; no more being tortured. And no more being apart. In fact, and I've been thinking about this for a while now, no more active duty. I mean you're too old now.ow! Hey!"  
  
"Less of the old, thanks very much!"  
  
"Ok, sorry! Jeez! Ok, well you're.seasoned and I've seen enough fighting to last me a life time. Besides, in order to keep my last resolution, I can't be going through the gate for a while anyway."  
  
"Oh yeah, what would that be?"  
  
"I've decided you need someone your own.mental age..to enjoy the snow with." I smile knowingly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Kids, Jack. I want to have a baby. I want to have your baby. If your ok with that, that is?" he face lights up.  
  
"Are you kidding? Of course I'm ok with that; I'm more than ok with that. It'll be great!" there's that smile again, the one that always melts my heart! That cheeky school kid grin. As he kisses me, a fresh dusting of snow falls lightly from the sky, salting us with its delicate flakes. Felling well and truly at peace with the world, and just a little bit frozen through, I stand and pull him to his feet.  
  
"Come on sexy. Let's go make a baby!"  
  
THE END 


End file.
